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Aug 28, 2003
In storybooks children grow up to become leaders.
Innocence leads our young to fall victim to (we're not your slaves)
the disadvantages our parents brought before them.
Grow up fast and lose sight of becoming an influence
(and i'll never sleep, i'll never sleep again)
They stole our innocence, they broke our foundation.
Broken by production, released at ten.
Before you kill your idols, kiss them goodnight.
After birth the hand that feeds may bleed.
Transformers for abuse.
Legos build the outcome whether its mental or physical,
Before you kill your idols, kiss them goodnight.
Mother i'll bleed for you, as father bled for me...
Posted at 01:14 pm by OxyMoron831
Aug 27, 2003
So I just Pre-Ordered Thursday's
New One, 'War All the Time' off of Tower Records.com. And the cool thing is, if you Pre-order the Album anytime between 8/25/03 and 9/2/03, You get like a limited edition Lithograh. You can preview the lithograph here:
http://art.towerrecords.com/addedvalue/thursday/litholarge.jpg
But the only time its available is if you order between now and September 2nd. Plus i only paid $12.00 for the CD, which i think isnt such a bad deal. So, umm yea... you guys should head over to www.Thursday.net and Pre-order this thing!
So i Also got My Alternative Press Magazine in the mail and i Love this magazine, maybe it's just because of the Photography...But anyhow, in the October issue they have this article on A stastic Lullaby, LOL and i had to scan this pic in of the guitarist...
BTW, if you haven't heard any of their stuff, you should check out their album '..And dont forget to Breathe.' Or you can preview them at www.mp3.com.
Actually here are a few other pics I really Like:
Taking Back Sunday
Converge
Thrice
A static Lullaby
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hah, even though i could only get 3 of the guys in the pic, cuz the other were outta focus..but still..i Like it.
So then there's this band Say from charms (which most u prolly havn't heard of cuz they're apart of the underground scene in SD) But deff check them out. http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/530/say_from_charms.html
 
Music: "The shooting star that destroyed us all" - A static lullaby
Oh btw, GlassJaw has a new album coming out in October :)
40 days, 6 hours, 50 minutes, and 57 seconds left until release.
Posted at 01:52 pm by OxyMoron831
Aug 18, 2003
Fading Pictures Bleeding Colors...
Wow i must be like Tremendously bored, or maybe im just making up for lost time of not writing in this thing lol. this must be the 100th entry ive made today...but any how...a friend sent me one of these stupid things to fill out and since the weather is crappy right now and im still in my pj's im just gonna go ahead and do this shiot....
:x: name = Racine
:x: piercings = ears
:x: tattoos =I want one on the back of my neck or down along my lower stomach..like to the left. maybe my lower back. Who knows yet.
:x: height = 5'3" last time i checked..
:x: shoe size = hmm..8
:x: hair color = bleached
:x: eye color= Blue/yellow
:x: siblings = Too many
LAST...
:x: movie you rented = umm cant remember
:x: movie you bought = DVD actually lol..and it was the Dashboard unplugged
:x: song you listened to = "Walls" by this amazing band just signed to Tooth and Nail. called Emery
:x: song that was stuck in your head = same song above ^
:x: cd you bought = umm..i picked up This day Forward's new one
:x: cd you listened to = This day forward
:x: person you've called = no one
:x: person that's called you = Sarah
:x: tv show you've watched = American Dreams (last nite)
:x: person you were thinking of = My Tommy <3 <3 <3
DO...
:x: you have a crush on someone = Tommy
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = of course.
:x: you think about suicide = no comment
:x: you believe in online dating = hahaha .... im gonna have to say yes
:x: others find you attractive = i think?
:x: you want more piercings = yes..i have one or 2 in mind
:x: you drink = 1
:x: you do drugs = 2 >>> To these 3 questions i cant say anything. you never know what is gonna happen
:x: you smoke = 3
:x: you like cleaning = hmm sometimes. When i can't fnd something i know its time to clean.
:x: you like roller coasters = Love them
:x: you write in cursive or print = Print...Once you see my cursive you will know why.
:x: you carry a donor card = lol nopers
FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships = For. but they are hard :/
:x: using someone= no one can truly say they've NEVER used anyone...even if it was for the smallest thing. But in general i dont agree with it.
:x: suicide = against
:x: killing people = haha im ALL FOR!!!
:x: teenage smoking = hey do what u want
:x: doing drugs = go for it
:x: driving drunk = that would be a NEGATIVE
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = I dont agree with it, but hey go for it.
FAVORITE...
:x: food = boneless chicken..and mexican food. oh wait, French fries (the skinny ones)
:x: song = Waaay too many.
:x: thing to talk about = your mom
:x: sports = Softball ...when im not Lazy
:x: drinks = anything except milk. yucky. i <3 mt. dew and cherry 7-up
:x: clothes = whatever i wear.
:x: movies = ehh..dont feel like listing them. anything funny
:x: band/singer = lots
:x: holiday = Does Black history Month count??? haha
:x: cars = not sure..
HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl= haha ...nah
:x: ever cried over a boy= yes :/
:x: ever lied to someone = yes....i have
:x: ever been in a fist fight = well...once
:x: ever been arrested = its a goal im shooting for! :)
WHAT...
:x: shampoo do you use = Beach Blonde ...smells fucking great
:x: shoes do you wear = Vans usually..i just bought a pair of DC's tho
:x: are you scared of = Bees
NUMBER...
:x: of times I have been in love? = 2...
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = umm once.
:x: of hearts I have broken? = Well i can think of one heart i have broken...lol
:x: of drugs taken illegally? = 0
:x: of people I consider my enemies? ONE: my mom...
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? actually it has appeared in the newspaper a lot..so i dunno.
:x: of scars on my body? = haha..lots man..im a daredevil. actually half the scars are from doing something incredibly stupid :)
:x: of things in my past that I regret? = not too many things...
FAVORITE...
:x: disney movie - Lilo and stich and that new Nemo movie was funny...
:x: word - "Indeed" and recently "Fuck" (i wonder who influenced that haha)
:x: Phrase - "suck my dick" ..dont ask, i just think its funny
:x: nickname - Raciney, Rasins, Bean, Shamu, Seeny
:x: eye color- Blue or green
:x: actor - not sure...
:x: actress - britney murphy
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty - sure
:x: funny - i am told i have a random but good sense of humor
:x: hot - ooo im so sexy...
:x: friendly - very
:x: amusing - I'd like to think so, i tend to make everyone laugh here and there
:x: ugly - sure
:x: loveable - like a teddy beaaaaarrr lol
:x: caring - yep
:x: sweet - yep
:x: dorky - incredibly
WHAT IS...
-- Your most overused phrase on aol : 'Indeed'
-- The first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning : i dont remember
-- The last image/thought you go to sleep with : Tommy
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex :Hmm...shoes lol.. i guess just over all apearance.
-- Your best feature : Personality
--Your greatest fear : i told you guys..fucking bees.
-- Your most missed memory : Hawaii. Life was so easy when i lived there.
YOU PREFER...
-- Pepsi or coke : theres a difference? whoa...i did not even know.
-- Single or group dates : Single.
-- Adidas or nike : How about...Neither.
-- Dogs or cats : kitty kats
-- Single or taken : Taken Niggaaasssss!!
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea : either work
-- One pillow or two : Two?
-- Chocolate or vanilla : Vanilla ...but i <3 chocolate as well
-- Cappucino or coffee : neither
-- Boxers or briefs : Boxers
DO YOU...
-- Take a shower everyday? : If i say no, will u still be my friend?
-- Want to go to college? : Yes.
-- Like high school? : ehh..it has its ups and downs..but i cant wait till im OUT
-- Want to get married : Definitely.
-- Believe in yourself? : Sure
-- Like thunderstorms? : Sorda..i want to have sex druing one. hahaha...
THE FURURE...
-- Age you hope to be married : I have no fucking idea...
-- Number of children: err..2? MAYBE..just maybe 3. i always said i'de never have just one kid tho...
-- Names of children: Boys: hmm...Hadynn or Brice...i dunno im sure theres others.
Girls: lol well Tommy wants Autumn. and i guess thats Final..
-- Where do you see yourself at age 20? : in school still..
-- How do you want to die? : ...Raped and Thrown in a Ditch. - ---What country would you most like to visit? : Australia
OPPOSITE SEX...
-- Best eye color? : Ehh..i prefer green or blue. Tommys eye color works.
-- Best hair color? : It doesnt really matter...but i am attracted to Darker hair. --Short or long hair? : lol... *sigh* i like it long. but it really doesnt matter.
-- Best height? : anything taller than me works i guess
-- Best articles of clothing? : ...BLACK SOCKS lol...
-- Best first date location? : back seat of your car?
-- Best first kiss location? : lol..well mines was behind some building..i dont know about yours..
OTHER...
-- When's the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? : Last night.
-- How many houses have you lived in? : lol..lets see..1..2...3..4..umm yep 4 different houses!
-- What color is your bedroom carpet? : this blue color..
-- Would you shave your head for $5000 dollars? : Umm..im gonna have to pass lol.
-- If you were stranded on a deserted island and you could only take three things with you what would you take? : Lets see..Tommy, an umbrella, and umm rice krispie treats
Woo that rocked. haha...anyways, im off for now. Take it Easy Kids.
Music: 'Walls' - Emery
Mood: In the midst of Feelings..I Feel NothinG.
Posted at 12:43 pm by OxyMoron831
Just a few Shows coming up, that I am stoked for...Hopefully i can make a few of them.
Posted at 11:28 am by OxyMoron831
http://www.mp3.com/thousandfootkrutch.
You Kids should Deffinetly check out Thousand Foot krutch. Head to the link above and give them a Listen, then be sure and pick up their CD this FAll!
I'm out,
Racine
PS: while your at it..Tooth and Nail just signed another band called Emery. also check them out, i love them already.
Posted at 08:10 am by OxyMoron831
haha yes to whoever signed my thingy on the side...i am a Total Thursday Fan. One of my Fav Bands...Wooooo
Posted at 08:02 am by OxyMoron831
Aug 7, 2003
Highly frustrated wanna feel elated
Come monday morn you feel checkmated
You can be uncool and become the rule
Exceptions were made to drown
I'm not used to it, you'd think I'd be by now
The ins the outs the ups and the downs
I wanna make a mess
I wanna blow off stress
I wanna stoke the fire
Just creatures for a while
I wanna make a mess
I wanna blow off stress
I wanna stoke the fire
Just creatures, Just creatures
It comes and goes and comes and goes
Sometimes I go a little crazy
Sometimes I go a little crazy just like you I do
I know what you we're gonna say
But were afraid to cause dismay
You're lyrics switched around
The mixture watered down
And now a pointless display
It's something one won't understand
Unless there in it with me hand and hand
Don't buy the fear don't buy that my dear
The things you love you must keep near and
Carry on and you won't feel withdrawn
Even if you're coming down
Sometimes it's wearable sometimes is bearable
I careen towards balance til' the glass is full
It comes and goes and comes and goes
Sometimes
Sometimes I get a little out there
Sometimes I go off
Sometimes just like you
I go a little crazy
Sometimes I go a little crazy just like you I do
Sometimes I go a little crazy
Sometimes I go a little crazy just like you I do
[Creatures (for a while)] - 311 (btw, their new ambum Evolver is amazing.)
Posted at 12:48 pm by OxyMoron831
One In A Million...Always Shines. [OR not]
ok so, There are like a total of 6 kids in my family, i am the oldest and yes we are from the same parents. and yes they are still married. However...theres a slight problem with being the oldest child...IT BLOWS. So your expecting the normal bitching of being blamed for everything, which is true and is deffently apart of it. lol...but seriously i dont think u know how much work i do. let me break this down for you..basically how my life has been. as far as being the eldest goes. becasue i've never once expressed this shit... and im not gonna exaggerate one bit:
I've always fucking been very independent. since i was like little i wanted to do everything myself, and have always been a few years advanced of my actual age. my mom used to joke when i was little that i would be the one who became the Lawyer when i was older. (i dont see that happening). But i mean from the time i was like 7...i started learning how to do like dishes and house shit and etc. As i got older i was expected to you know help out more and more. (a lot of the time i just did shit on my own, becasue i actually didnt mind helping back then) well when i moved From Hawaii to San Diego, i was what...like 9?..and my mom was a stay at home mom, becasue one she wanted to be around for my little sisters while they were young and 2 she would soon be pregnant with my youngest brother, sean. (him and I are 10 years apart). Either way, she stayed at home till i graduated from 8th grade. The summer before my freshman year she went back to work, and of course my dad works too (hes in the navy) and at the time he was out to sea a lot, for periods of time varying from weeks to months. (my dad wasnt in my life much the first 14 years of my life becasue of the navy). But anyways..i was expected to sorda grow up fast and had to watch the younger ones pretty much all day so my mom could go back to work and i remember that summer i also had summer school as well did my sister. except i went to summer school during the morning and my siter went in the afternoon. so my mom would go into work later and as soon as i got home i would have to watch the kids. i would have to go get my sister from summer school as well when she was done. (the school was like a 2 blocks away). Then when school started, i was wicked busy with my music and stuff. i was in marching band and what not, and i mean my high school was big and music was a big thing, and marching season was a big thing. i mean theres practice which takes up most of my time and then i had school to worry about as well. i was taking advanced courses. However in the evenings at home, or sometimes right when i got home from school till later in the evening i had to watch the little ones. Not to mention i had a lot of homework, and by the time they fell asleep i was tired myself so i rearely did homework, or studied and i let my grades fall, like drastically. and yes that is my fault, but still...my environment didn't help much. So i moved to RI in the middle of my freshman year (december) and that was insane. i hated it and shit i was upset, but i mean that first year i didnt have to watch them. then come fucking my sophmore year when we were all settled and shit, it was back to fucking Day care service and it progressivly gor worse. Becasue when we moved to RI, it would be the first time in 14 years that my dad would be in my life full time, everyday. (only because he wouldnt be on a ship) however things got worse. FUcking Less freedom for me than ever before. Yo seriously, i mean i brought my grades back up or whatever, but still not to the full potential becasue of the same shit. and my parents would pull stupid shit. Like, after work (and i had already been watching these fucks like most of the day, or since i got out of school) they would go somewhere like out with friends and shit and not even bother to call me and let me know. They just went as they pleased, like i have no life at all. and they would come home later. and i would have homework, that i didnt want to do becasue i was so tired. and i do attempt this shit while watching them, but its so hard to concentrate dude. And do i ever say anything???....nah man. i was such a fucking trooper. i just did the shit. but then i got fed up little by little becasue fucking watching them is not fucking easy at all. My brothers and sisters are not exactly the best behaved. and i know little kids arent always, but trust me...mines r far out there. For one...they know about every vulgar term in the book. i have a little sister going on nine who asks me if i "swallow". all my little sisters are well beyond their time, as far as guys and shit go. they aren't sluts, but shiot..they are well on their way. Kinda picture my family as the Osbournes. But i didnt teach this shit to them. for one the kids in my neighbor hood back in SD used to tell them to say all the words becasue they thought it was funny. (yea,u know a 2 year old saying 'fuck' is hilarious...) But also from TV and shit..and i mean i kinda gotta take part on that cuz i regret allowing them to watch certain shit, but i mean now people who have seen or heard me in front of my little siblings, i say whatever. and u may be shocked lol, becasue its like "why are u saying that in front of little kids". but fuck it. they say worse. and i used to refuse to say shit in front of them, but now its like fuck it, they talk the shit, im not gonna get walked over. But they dont listen to me anyways. like seriously i will clean up the house and shit and everything will be nice and shit and they will go right behind me, like right after i clean and tear shit up, to the point of where i have to keep cleaning the same shit, so that mommy dearest wont get pissed when she gets home. Becasue of course she expects the house to be kept clean. so in order for her not to come home and bitch (becasue thats the last hting i want to hear) i keep shit clean and what not. u know. Here's an example. Today..i had just cleaned the kitchen and i went into the living room to like fold towels and my fucking sisters go in the kitchen and think its funny to spill Sprite all over the floor and leave fucking chocolate cake all over. yea, real cool. mean while as im cleaning the kitchen and what not, online (heaven forbid im online)..they are upstairs in their room (which i think they are cleaning) but instead they pop the screen out of their window and are attepting to fucking jump in and out onto the roof and shit and are throwing chairs out of it and toys. meanwhile they have the radio in their room blasting. Now i have to introduce the lovely fucking mommies in the neighbor hood who like to tattle tale and call the cops, and oh boy thats just what happened. so i get a fucking cop at my door saying theres a complaint, and im just like yo, how the fuck is my little sisters hurting that fat bitch over there??...meanwhile my little sisters upstairs screaming becasue she cant have something she wants. Sounds reall good in front of the cop dont u think?? heh. me too. and i mean now my sumemrs consist of fucking early morning till 4:30 (at the least) watching them..wooo im such a winner.
I swear its chaotic. And over the years has just gotten worse, becasue they're all older now and fucking 'badass' as they think. cuz yo its like ME: "pick up your mess" and what is my 6 Y/O Brothers response??? "no bitch". yeaaaaaaa that is not going to get anyone anywhere. Not to mention ive been called like every name in the book by them, so like when people call me names on the ouside it really doesnt fucking bother me. i guess thats a plus, eh? so i've gievn up. fuck it. if i clean something and they mess it up, ima just fucking leave it. i think its time my mom fully see's what goes on. Dont get me wrong i have mentioned it to her, but it turns into something between me and her and if i can avoid that, then im going to do that.
My dads back out to sea again (in VA) gone for like a year and a half, and im stuck with this bitch and shes gonna try and sit there and expect more outta me..no. hell no. I've done more than my part. i mean fuck, i can practically say i've raised these kids. fucking shit..yo im like 17 and a mommy already. wooooo. I mean really..my little brother i did raise him. I've been in charge of him basically since he was born. But yea whatev....im gonna get lost now, cuz ive wrote u guys a fucking book to read. so Enjoy.
Posted at 02:51 am by OxyMoron831
Aug 4, 2003
Gotta get a few things out....
Its given life isn't going to be easy. Day by day i feel myself wanting to leave home like more than anything. i just want to be fucking independent already. my life style is comlicated. i will tell you that. i dont want to fully go indepth because maybe im not comfortable letting the whole world in on my life, (lol then what the hell is this journal for. i know, i know.) But i mean..i will tell you that i have a mom who is very very over protective and one track minded. So that alone makes it difficult. But i mean i get by. over time u learn to tune it all out and find a way around it. But it still gets to you. you dont think it does, but it does. it all builds up eventually. I think that can be said for anything, that is a constant nag in your life. You know it is there, everyday you wake, and you have to remind yourself of new ways to work around it. Thats exactly how it is. And unfortuantly until the day i turn 18 i am pretty much owned (which wont be for another year). But seriously, that will be the day i probably am truly happy. For all the obvious reasons. The most important reason tho isn't really layed out on the table at least for everyone to understand, and i wouldn't expect you to. i have found the single person that completes me. (at such a young age, i know i know. but still) and its like none other feeling i have ever gotten with anyone. I have in the past been very yeilding to falling in love and maybe thats why i never really have. Maybe up until now that is. Its difficult to explain. i guess u could consider me very innocent. i mean...i've only been in 2 relationships..if u count my current one that makes it 3 (woo im the expert) but i mean i dont see that being of any importance, so say what u will. i guess its a good thing i dont get around, heh. but thats how i've always been. A very closed person so to speak. so If i let you into my life, my wolrd, then you know you are deffinelty something special. I mean i have been in love once before...but that was complicated because i wasnt able to act upon it. we were separated and it was so hard. i was also 14. and i can somewhat say the same about my situation now. It is difficult. He lives 3 hours away, and seeing each other is complicated. I developed everything i have and feel and share with him solely on no physical presence. it was all built up over communication and emotion through what technology we have today. And i mean...this guy means the world to me. so much that i have planned my future around him and he is like the one thing that probably keeps me sane. like every day i wake, is another day i have to live for him and look forward to spending every single day with him. And i know he will read this lol..and probably think to himself "oh yea i've heard all this before..." but the rest of you reading haven't and i mean not that i care whether u read it or not, im just saying, it should be made clear that i am 110% taken. and yo, seriously if him and I can make this work than i seriously feel like anything can be accomplished. because it really takes a lot, on both persons part, to endure the hardships and emotions and gaps needed to be filled. But i mean im totally all for giving my entire self to him. He gets everything i have. thats how it works.
i guess this entry was needed, because i was just talking to him, and at this one single moment, i just felt this overwhelming love for him. like so fucking lucky that he is all mine. (not like i dont feel that all the time) It just happend to be a really good feeling to go through me at that moment. like one of those things where you are just sitting there and smile for no complete reason. I must say the feeling rocks.
'When talking about our lives...Like we've known each other forever. Our time flies by,
With the sound of your voice. It's close to paradise.....
And if i could only stop the car, and hold onto you. I would never let go.
Why does tonight have to end?'
[ Tiger lily] -Matchbook Romance
Posted at 10:44 pm by OxyMoron831
So it's like 5:30am, lol and i am fucking up. wooo. i actually didnt even fall asleep yet so it works out. My dad just left For VA, and i actually didn't end up having to take him to the airport, because there were things invented called shuttles. who woulda thought?? haha but yea so i mean and it actually wasn't too emotional, and i think its because im used to it, you know he wasn't around full-time the first 14 years of my life. It wasn't until i moved here to Rhode island hat he was in my life every single day. But i think this time around i was only stronger, cuz im older and what not. however i am now left with just my mom (oh boy, u have no idea how stoked i am about this.) but yea thats another story that is gonna be saved for another time i guess. But so i am off now, staring at this screen is making me somewhat quite sick.
I'm Out
Posted at 05:43 am by OxyMoron831
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